Why You Should Compliment Your Boys
The compliment that made my week.
I’m leaning into the podcast side of the project so I’ve had 3 conversations over the last week.
After finishing up the last podcast on Friday night, Joel gave me a compliment to let me know I’m on the right track. “That was a really good interview… I’ve done a few of these and this was one of my favourites.”
I got a similar response from my guest on Thursday night, “This was a great way to end my day.”
You often have that gut feeling you’re doing the right thing. But, we live so much of our lives walking around in the dark. A compliment is someone turning on a flashlight for 2 seconds so you can check your direction before continuing on.
I just spent 45 minutes trying to find any study on compliment frequency of men and women and couldn’t find one. Is that a consequence of “easily observable metrics don’t need to be studied” or that “it’s not important enough to study.”
I don’t know.
I do know anecdotally it’s rare for men to receive genuine compliments.
When I was an awkward loner in 6th grade I was riding the bus and a cute girl I didnt know very well gazed at me for a second and said super genuinely, almost involuntarily, "you have really nice eyes."
That was 18 years ago and I still think about it now and then. Compliments go further than most people think. - u/treestick
If you’re not in a relationship, good luck. That number could be once a year.
So I’m out here advocating for you to give your boys some compliments.
Not the frilly shit.
Give them some good ones.
It’s gonna feel awkward and that’s totally cool. It’s not something you’re used to or he’s used to, but it opens a door to a level of friendship most guys don’t experience.
If you’re looking for a place to start:
"You have an incredible work ethic, and it really inspires me."
"I've always admired how committed you are to your values."
"Your sense of humor always lightens the mood. You have a real gift for that."
"You're one of the most reliable people I know. I'm grateful for that."
"I'm constantly impressed by how well you handle stress and adversity."
"You have a knack for making everyone around you feel comfortable and welcome."
"You're one of the most genuine people I know. That's rare these days."
"I've noticed how much you've grown and evolved recently. It's really commendable."
"You have a lot of wisdom to offer, and I appreciate your insights."
"Your optimism is contagious. It's one of the things I admire most about you."
Ladies, I know there is a couple of you reading. Tell your guy or a guy one of these things and I promise you that it will be the best thing he hears all month.