The Most Fun Rules You'll Ever Follow
How to actually change your default behaviours.
I really love the word — serendipity.
I’m reading Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman (I know, I’m late to the party). Fantastic book about biases, heuristics and thinking defaults.
Daniel Kahneman won the Nobel Prize in 2002 for developing Prospect Theory and his research in behavioural economics.
Cut to last week, I’m listening to Shane Parrish on the Modern Wisdom podcast talk about setting default rules to train your brain out of bad behaviours. Wouldn’t you know it, he brings up a story about Daniel.
Daniel took a phone call with Shane in the room and ended the call by stating a rule, “he doesn’t say yes over the phone.”
Think about how many times you’ve said yes to something in the moment only to dread it later! Humans are built to be pleasers in social contexts. It is hardwired into our biology to preserve relationships.
Daniel says to Shane, “we’ve been taught our whole life to follow rules, I just created a rule and if I tell people my rule they don’t argue with it.”
He turned his desired behaviour into his default behaviour with a rule.
Alright, how quickly can I apply this to my own life.
I had some time to kill on my flight home from Charlotte last week so I came up with 10 that I figured would serve me well and that would be easy to maintain over the long term. They now live on my desktop background so I can reference them often.
No screens after 9:30 and no screens in the bedroom except your kindle
Do your most cognitively demanding task first thing in the morning
Clean the house before bed so your mind is clear in the morning
Do not go to the grocery store while hungry
Treats and snacks go in a closed cupboard
Meditation happens right before work
On Wednesday nights, you cook
Leave one love note per day
No phone before noon
Exercise daily
The point wasn’t to be exhaustive. It was to ask myself, how fast can I implement some rules and override my undesired defaults.
I have a yearly planning template and it prompts me for a “word to describe my year.”
My word for 2023 was “initialize,” in relation to the newsletter and podcast.
My word for 2024 is going to be “consistency.” I’m doing a lot of great things in my life. I need to focus on doing what I am now, better and more often.
A few more from Shane and Chris:
Chris: Whenever you think of a friend, text them
Shane: Pay invoices as soon as they come in
Shane: Exercise every day
Shane: No meetings before 12
Shane: Invest in an index fund every month
Shane, for organizations: Break problem definition and problem solution meetings apart
Shane, for organizations: Committees don’t make decisions, people do, someone has to sign their name to a decision
Your goal for this week is to create 5 rules to change default behaviours that don’t benefit you. Reply with what you come up with, I’d love to hear them!