The Easiest Way To Sustain Happiness
Identity Diversification!
This week we’re gonna talk about something specific and tactical!
Becoming happier and sustaining happiness over longer periods of time by using identity diversification.
Think of your happiness as a kiddie pool. The goal is to keep the pool full.
Now, let’s say each piece of your identity is a method of adding or removing water from the pool. Some methods will be more direct and fill it faster, but you could theoretically use water balloons to fill up a pool if you tried hard enough.
Let’s look at a non exhaustive list of my identity. I would encourage you to walk through the same thought exercise for yourself.
Husband (Son, Friend, Brother, Etc.)
Soon To Be Father — even though my wife likes to remind me I already am one to our pup
Podcaster/Entrepreneur
Writer
Healthy Person
Sports Fan
Video Gamer
Now let’s turn each one of these into a method of filling our pool:
Husband (Son, Friend, Brother, Etc.) — Hose
Soon To Be Father — Rain
Podcaster/Entrepreneur — Watering Can
Writer — Disposable Water Bottles
Healthy Person — Bucket
Sports Fan — Ice Cubes
Video Gamer — Water Balloons
To round out this analogy, when one of these things is going well it is adding water to your pool. When it is going poorly it is removing water.
Here’s a totally hypothetical scenario:
My marriage is great and I nailed a podcast recording but the Leafs lose in another game 7 and I haven’t been to the gym in a week.
Analogized: I’m turning the hose on and putting a watering can into the pool, but I’m also taking a bucket out and filling up some ice cube trays.
You can see how overall the level of the pool (total happiness) either hasn’t moved or is slightly higher.
This is where diversification comes in!
If you have a highly concentrated identity — “My relationship means everything” or “I’m only as good as my last PR at the gym” — there is only one method of filling the pool. And, if that singular thing is declining, your pool can drain fast.
Therefore to live a sustained happy life it is important to take your sense of happiness — self worth, self esteem, etc. — from a variety of different areas.
Focus on what makes a big impact first, but don’t ignore the boost you could get from throwing a couple ice cubes or water balloons in the pool every now and then.
What areas of your life could you be cultivating?